Worst psychologist experience. Diagnosing my son with autism.

https://beckyandedward.blogspot.com/?m=1
We recently went to a psychologist. Let me just say this was the worst experience I have ever had. My son has been struggling with his speech since he was 2. Which I mainly blame myself because he would say "kiki" and I knew that meant tiger or if he didn't want his tiger then he meant his elephant. I didn't correct him because I figured he's still small he'll eventually learn. No that was not the case. I had a teacher once tell me to not use small words. "Don't use simple words that you think only a child can understand. You want to expand their vocabulary, so use bigger words that way they can grab on to it" Anyways, if Liam wanted something he would point and say this so I knew what he wanted I never told him say what you want. When he turned 3 we went for his physical and his doctor noticed Liam wasn't speaking 2-3 word sentences, so I started working with him at home. "Tell me what you want liam" he started saying juice, milk, food, papa, mcdonalds, Ipad, outside, water, toys, daddy, mommy, grandma, grandpa. He would say mom outside? or mom milk? then I started him in day care, and man did that help but he still wasn't catching on to words. He would come home and sing songs he learned or if he wanted a book he would pull it out and have me read it to him. once we got home his doctor said she wanted to check him for autism. Keep in mind I have worked with kids who are autistic. Severely. So to me I knew the signs of autism, and what to look for. My son does not meet the requirements for it. I believe. Anyways fine they want to test him let's do it. OF course I cried because to me if the psychologist doesn't care she can clearly diagnose him, and not care. I was worried he would be wrongfully diagnosed. Liam is very rude, and sweet if he wants to listen he'll say "what? mom what do you want?" or he'll say "No, No don't want to listen" if he doesn't want to listen to you or if your calling him over he won't come if he doesn't want to. This psychologist obviously knows that i mentioned it to her, and she then tells me "I call him and say liam look at me, nope he doesnt want to" "I know" I Say. "he doesn't listen if he doesn't want to" and she also noticed he moves his pencil from his left hand to his right, and I said I know he's left handed and the day care worker was teaching him to use his right. another thing she noticed is he blabbered a lot. He speaks like a baby, and he repeats what you say. Which i thought him to repeat so he can grab on to the words. The session lasted a good 10 minutes not long at all. We go back a month later so she can perform her test on him. Its 8am he is asleep on the way, and doesn't want to get up. We walk into the room she takes him and  hes yawning like crazy sleepy. 5 min later she calls us back and says "Liam didn't want to do the test" So I say, "OK are we going to reschedule?" "NO. I need to get this over with"......me and Edward look at each other like 0_0 WTF. Get this over with? this isn't anybody this is a child and for her to be in such a rush pissed me off. she then said I"m going to go ahead and diagnose him with mild autism, and ADHD. I'm looking at Edward like shes wrong. she says her concern was he wouldn't look her in the eye, doesn't answer to his name, didn't follow instructions, and showed no emotion.........
Let me tell you my son does answer to his name. He can even tell you his first and last name. He can tell you how old he is, his birthday, his favorite thing to eat, and he does look at us in the eye. This psychologist gave us such a bad vibe it's no wonder my son paid no attention to her. I can tell him turn off the lights and close and lock the door, and there he is doing it every night. he can follow instructions easily.
Fast forward the doctor has gotten the report of the psychologist now they want him to see a genetics. We go to see the genetics, and this doctor is CONFUSED about the report. He didn't understand why she only saw him for a couple minutes. "were you in a rush?" he asked me "UH no she seemed in a rush." "why didn't she do the test?" "I have no idea when i asked her if we were going to reschedule she said no she needed to get this over with" his face was the same as mine. 0_0 We both couldn't believe a psychologist that treats children for autism was so quick to diagnose him after seeing him for not even 20 minutes. He then said he did send her an email because he could not believe there wasn't enough information on the report to say why he was autistic or why she didn't even perform the exam or spent a good time with him. Which i was glad about because she was in such a rush. He then performed his assessment did his part, and we were there for a good hour and a half. He then turns to me and says. "I am so sorry ma'am but your son is fine. I don't see him autistic at all. I have gone over with him, and he is looking at me, showing emotion, he answers when you call him, he turns around when you say look at that. I don't believe he is autistic he doesn't meet the requirements." I start crying. Because I know he is right. I don't believe he is autistic at all. And i am so upset the psychologist didn't even spend enough time with him, but the genetics did. As we were leaving the doctor offered him a sticker and liam said yes he wanted one. He gave liam the sticker and quickly liam gave him a hug and said bye. The doctors face 0_0 "You see if he was autistic he shouldn't have done that or even spoken"
Now I am so confused who are we going by the psychologist or the genetics? I call his doctor and they want a second opinion since we have not only the genetics but even the doctor that referred him said she doesn't think hes autistic because hes not behaving the way he was before and i said yeah because he listens when he wants to.
The thing is now liam is in speech therapy, and will soon start OT therapy. He is starting OT because he doesn't know how to use a button, he hates coloring so he never colors to him it's time consuming he won't use different colors he'll just use 1 color and do the whole page that one color just to get it over with, and she will help him use more than one color. he also doesn't copy what shes writing if shes doing a line she wants him to do it to so she'll be teaching him that.As well as using scissors because i never let him use them. Putting on his clothes, using a fork/spoon, doing the bathroom on his own, taking a bath/shower, brushing his teeth, and his hair, opening a door, locking a door, buckling up, opening a water bottle, putting a ball in a string he has. but there are small things he should be doing and he isn't. I don't mind that help. But for him to be diagnosed, and his previous teachers don't believe he has is wrong. I couldn't believe there was this psychologist that was so quick to judge my son. no I will NEVER recommend her to anyone. This lady couldn't even spend time with my son I doubt she'll do it to yours. And by the way I am not the only one who has said this. There is another comment with the mom also claiming she felt like she was wasting her time because the psychologist sure did feel like she was wasting her time.
One thing for sure is I do believe my son is delayed in some areas. His speech is not all the way there for a 4 year old. If I am crying he will say mom stop crying. Its okay no more crying. But he cannot carry on a conversation with you. If I ask him Oh my goodness what happened he'll say the dog lost and he crying. but if i ask what did you do at school? he wont answer or what did you eat nope he won't answer that either. I do notice there are some areas in his speech he does need help because i never asked him what happened in the book, or what did we do today.
Other than that I believe he is perfect just delayed in some areas because I baby him too much. I never allowed him to use markers because of stains, or use scissors or knives because their dangerous. When he turned 3 I started allowing him to put on his own clothes, and allowing him to wipe his own butt even though he goes through several rolls of toilet paper. I didn't know by doing things for him I was preventing him from learning and that is exactly how the OT made me feel. She made me feel like the worst mom ever because he wasn't doing things he should be doing.
Now for sure I let him do things on his own. I don't even open the door anymore but let him do it, and I don't pick out his clothes for the next day because I make him do it. Yesterday I gave him scissors and his face was :O he was in shocked. and he started cutting paper. Not the correct way but still cutting paper.
In the end I did have the worst experience ever with this psychologist. Liam was already in speech therapy before that, and no the speech therapist is not concerned about him being autistic she think he is delayed as well, but not for being autistic. I'm not saying it would be worst thing if he was but the thing is he isn't autistic. I don't think he should be diagnosed as autistic because she failed to do her job.
I've been working with him at home doing simple things with him but allowing him to do it on his own. If he wants a snack he'll say mom can i get a snack? and i say yes go get it, and there he goes to grab one. He has to tell me the specific juice he wants whether is orange juice, apple juice, milk, water, or a capri sun I make him say it instead of I want a drink.
I know things will get better but still as a parent all I have to say is fight for your kid. Because nobody else is going to do it for you. Not even a psychologist will make the right diagnose for you. I have learned. If you don't think he is fight for it.